Mom

Hi Mom,

Yesterday you left your body. But you’ll never leave me.

They say we won’t be remembered for what we did on earth. That we’ll be remembered for what we left behind. You left behind a lot.

Everything I am came from you. You taught me to keep my room clean. You taught me right from wrong. You showed me to speak up and stand up for what I believe in. You led me to love — myself,  animals, the planet, others. Okay, maybe not Republicans.

Because of you I have Renee. I’ve always said Renee makes me want to be a better man. I knew how important a woman would be in life, because of how important you were. Renee has given me everything, much like what you did.

I’m so proud of you. When you decided to be free you took action and made it happen. Armed with nothing more than an RTD bus pass and your incredible will power, you rode downtown and went to college — at night. You got a degree, a government job, you made it. You divorced Dad. You made it on your own, just like Mary did. We watched a lot of Mary Tyler Moore Shows, you never missed one. Thanks for saving all your notebooks, I’ll cherish them.

You saw my pain and anger. You helped me see that first, I had to love myself. You helped me to understand and accept. I knew how important it was to you that I was good, before you left. I am. Thanks, Mom.

You unleashed my character. You taught me to read books. You challenged my thinking. You got me interested in the world and what goes on around me. You saw today coming years ago – I’ll never forget that conversation with you in the kitchen, circa 1990. Now, I’ve dedicated the rest of my life to activism and making the world a better place.

Our rugs, furniture, flowers, that’s all you. My clothes, so you. I’ve got your purse and hat by my bedside. I’m wearing the Patagonia jacket I left for you — again. I’ll wear it often, just like you did. I’m going to read all those books Mom, I promise. Every time the wild flowers come up I’ll think of you.

I can still see your face, the last time we talked Thursday night.

I thought you had more time and of course I wanted more. Not enough pictures, but lifetime’s of memories.

I’m so happy you know everything is cool.

Not only in this life, but in others live’s. Justin already knows a lot about politics and the world. He wants to be a lawyer. Renee is so strong now, her and I are joined at the hip. All the doggies are getting treats.

So the differences that Renee and I will make tracks back to you. You always worried, don’t. There’s going to be so much good that’ll spring from you — for generations to come.

You always said you wanted to leave your body while at the house, the only house we all ever had. It was beautiful, seeing this happen. It was perfect. You left exactly where you wanted to — in the house. I wish it for everyone.

Mom, I’ll miss you. But you’re not gone. There’s little memorial’s to you all around our home.

The tears are still coming, but it’s a bluebird day. I’m smiling now. I’m kissing Renee, Justin, the dogs. Family is important, more now than ever. Keep my stuff clean. Go make something happen. Or in other words, do what you taught me.

Give Max, Shorty, Walter, and Lola a treat for us. Don’t forget to ask Jim about the price of gas. Enjoy riding horses with Jenine. Have as much  chocolate as you want.

We’ll see you the next time.

Oh. Words were so important to you, your vocabulary was deep. They’re important to me too, because of you. So forgive me for some typo’s and grammar errors. I’ve put “The Elements Of Style”, one of the books you gave me, at the top of my reading list.

I love you, Mom.